What Is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence, in the context of Colorado family law, refers to acts of violence, threats, or abuse enacted by one intimate partner against another. This can include current or former spouses, individuals in a dating relationship, or those who share a child. Colorado law recognizes various forms of domestic violence, which can significantly impact family law proceedings, including custody decisions and protective orders.
Types of domestic violence include:
- Physical abuse: This involves the use of physical force against a partner. It can include actions such as hitting, slapping, punching, pushing, kicking, or using weapons to inflict harm. Physical abuse often leaves visible marks or injuries but can also include acts that don't result in apparent physical damage.
- Emotional or psychological abuse: This type of abuse involves non-physical behaviors aimed at controlling, intimidating, or manipulating a partner. It may include constant criticism, humiliation, threats, isolation from friends and family, or extreme jealousy and possessiveness. While not leaving physical scars, emotional abuse can have long-lasting psychological effects on the victim.
- Sexual abuse: In domestic relationships, this form of violence includes any non-consensual sexual acts, forced sexual activities, or sexual coercion. This can range from unwanted touching to rape. It should be noted that sexual abuse can occur within marriages and established relationships, not just between casual partners.
- Economic abuse: This form of abuse involves controlling a partner's ability to acquire, use, or maintain economic resources. It can include preventing a partner from working, controlling all household finances, or forcing the partner to account for every penny spent. Economic abuse often leaves the victim financially dependent on the abuser, which impacts a person’s ability to leave or start over.
- Stalking: While not always physical, stalking is a form of abuse that involves persistent, unwanted attention and contact. This can include following the victim, appearing in places uninvited at their workplace or home, or using technology to track their movements. Stalking often instills fear and can escalate to physical violence.
Courts take all types of abuse seriously when making decisions about child custody, property division, and the need for protective orders.
Recognizing the Signs of Domestic Abuse
It is important to be aware of the signs of abuse, both for oneself and for others. Recognizing these signs can be a crucial step in seeking help and breaking the cycle of violence.
Common signs of domestic violence include:
- Unexplained injuries, bruises, or cuts that are frequently covered up with clothing or makeup.
- Broken bones or dislocated joints that are attributed to accidents or falls.
- Repeated trips to the doctor or emergency room, often with vague explanations for the injuries.
- Self-harm or attempts at suicide, which can be a desperate attempt to escape the abuse.
Just as domestic violence has different forms, the signs of domestic violence are not only physical. Other warning signs to look for include the following:
- Constant criticism, belittling, or name-calling that undermines the victim's self-esteem and confidence.
- Isolation from friends and family, as the abuser attempts to control the victim's social circle and limit their support network.
- Threats of violence or harm, which can create a constant sense of fear and intimidation.
- Gaslighting, a manipulative tactic where the abuser makes you doubt your perception or reality, leading to confusion and self-blame.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, it is important to know that help is available. There are many resources available to provide support and safety.
What to Do If You Are a Victim/Survivor of Domestic Violence
If you are experiencing intimate partner violence, you can take the following actions to protect yourself:
1. Develop a Safety Plan
A safety plan is a personalized strategy that you design to help you with your exit strategy if you are experiencing or have experienced domestic violence. Drafting a safety plan is one of the steps you can take to be proactive in minimizing the risk of future harm.
A well-thought-out safety plan can help identify potential dangers and develop strategies to mitigate them. This can include everything from identifying safe havens to knowing how to respond to a crisis. In addition to helping you feel more safe, safety plans can help with:
- Empowerment. Creating a safety plan can empower you, make you feel more confident, and be prepared to take steps toward being safe.
- Structure. Facing violence and abuse at home and/or in intimate relationships can impact your sense of control and security. You can work to feel more in control by having a clear roadmap to follow.
- Resources. When considering your options moving forward, you can research information about local shelters, hotlines, protective orders, and other important resources. This can act as a powerful reminder that you are not alone and that you can get the support you need.
2. File to Obtain Protective Orders
In Colorado, you can obtain the following types of protective orders:
- Temporary. These orders last for about two weeks and aim to protect the victim/survivor until the hearing, where the court determines if permanent orders need to be in place.
- Emergency. These orders last for three days and can be implemented if the police, based on a belief that the victim/survivor is in immediate danger, request the orders.
- Permanent. These orders last permanently unless they are modified or terminated, and the terms of the order, as well as the order itself, will be periodically reviewed every two years. However, it is important to note that if these orders address custody of a child, those terms only last for a year. To obtain these orders, the victim/survivor must be present in court, and the court will need to see evidence that the abuser will continue to commit the same acts or retaliatory acts to grant the order.
Protective orders can safeguard you (and/or your children) by ordering the abuser to:
- Cease all contact.
- Stop hitting, threatening, and physically harming you/your children.
- Leave your shared home.
- Stay away from you/your children (whether that includes staying a certain distance from you or staying away from your school, work, and other frequented locations).
- Avoid interfering with your work or school.
- Make continued payments on the mortgage, rent, utilities, insurance, and other household expenses they previously paid.
- Return and do not hide any of your personal effects.
- Avoid harming any pets in your or your children’s custody.
- Surrender all firearms and ammunition while the order is in effect.
Protective orders can also grant you temporary custody and decision-making control of your children. As we mentioned, these orders will only last a year, and you will need to file a custody petition to obtain permanent and established physical and legal custody.
3. Seek Outside Support
Your safety plan can include people and organizations you can reach out to for support. Some of the support Douglas County victims/survivors should be aware of include the following:
- The Douglas County Sheriff’s Office Victim Asst. Advocates: They offer information and resources to help you work through the emotional trauma and can act as your liaison with the police while your case is pending.
- Douglas County Crisis Center: If you are not ready to reach out to law enforcement about the abuse, you can contact this 24/7 hotline at 303-688-8484 to talk about your options.
- National Crisis Text Line: When you text HOME to 741741, you can connect with a volunteer crisis counsel who can offer you confidential mental health support.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: For help identifying abuse, discovering local resources, and getting help if you’re experiencing intimate partner violence, you can reach out to this national hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233). They offer services in multiple languages, and you can talk with them online, via text, or on the phone.
- Moreno Family Law, LLC. Our firm serves clients in Douglas County, the Denver Metro area, Denver County, and the surrounding areas. Contact us today for help getting legal protection against your abuser.
What to Do If a Loved One Is Being Abused
If someone you love is a domestic violence victim/survivor, you can offer them support by:
- Keeping records of abuse: If they allow you, you can keep copies of photos or videos of their injuries and other evidence of the abuse. This can help their case if they file for protective orders.
- Ask about their safety plan: Don’t take it upon yourself to save them or take control of their exit. Instead, ask them what their plan is for leaving and getting support in staying safe from future abuse. As we mentioned, abusers often take control from your loved one, and you don’t want to do the same (even if your intentions are good).
- Contact a domestic violence hotline: You can also benefit from talking to someone, as they can walk you through how to process your emotions and offer needed, respectful support to your friend.
While you should contact the police in situations where you fear for your or your loved one’s life, be mindful that you contact them when necessary. If you call when there is no imminent danger, you may escalate a situation or make your loved one feel pressured, as they may not want to talk to them.
Let Us Help You Obtain a Restraining Order
At Moreno Family Law, LLC, we are dedicated advocates for families and individuals facing domestic violence. Our attorneys can help you get protective orders, and if you want to get divorced or have children together and want to establish custody orders, we can walk you through how domestic violence can impact determinations in those cases.
To learn more about how we can help you, call us at (303) 590-3690.